Why Accepting Compliments is Hard

Why is self-love so difficult? Far too often, when I look in the mirror, I immediately zero in on the stuff that ‘needs work,’ the ways that I ‘don’t measure up,’ or the things that I need to ‘improve.’ Just because a thought has entered your mind, doesn’t mean it’s the truth. Again: just because you have a belief (even something you consider a fact), doesn’t mean it’s the truth. It is easy to list our faults and shortcomings and surprisingly difficult to identify (let alone celebrate) those things that make us brilliant, talented, kind, creative, thoughtful, courageous, generous—a unique expression of our universe. From time to time, I consider that some Higher Power, some God or Goddess, some Supreme Being made me exactly as I am and that, when I put myself down or constantly find fault, I’m criticizing Her work. That possibility gives me pause, just long enough to reroute my perspective.

Women especially are encouraged to be humble, to only graciously accept compliments, to not boast or brag or otherwise go on about how fabulous we truly are. Most of us have taken this to the opposite extreme, to the extent that accepting a simple nicety becomes an impossible feat!

Consider this: the last time someone said something nice to you, did you deflect by offering a compliment in response instead of “thank you?” When a friend said they love your new purse, do you respond "Thanks! I love that sweater you’re wearing!" Or do you say Thank-You (full stop), and let it be? Do you do it with eye contact and without blushing? If not yet, maybe you can practice.

An indicator of poor self-esteem is the inability to accept a compliment. The thing is, no matter how hard you try, no matter how convincing your mind might seem, you cannot fool your soul. The truth of your perfection lies deep within your heart. ❤️Embark on the path of self-discovery and delusions of shame and inferiority will slip away.


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